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Posted by Jenni on April 20, 2012 in Birth, Before and After, Bodymind Bliss, Classes & Workshops, Self-care, Yoga

Spring Renewal Self Care Retreat Vision Board 1

A long time ago, in a life I’ve nearly forgotten—the one before kids—I had a one-dimensional view of self-care. It involved calling in sick to work for a “mental health day.” Or, “spa day.” It was all the same to me, really.

One other time, someone told me I should schedule some “white space” into my planner. (Waaay back in the days of paper planners zipped into leather-bound binders!) The idea was to pencil in some “me” time. I was never very good at it.

Spring Renewal Self Care Retreat Vision Board 2 Even when I was responsible only for the care and feeding of moi, I didn’t get far with self-care. I piled on the stress and worked too much and got really snippy with the people who tolerated loved me best. I didn’t think too much or too deeply about the personal experience of things like “self-compassion” or “nurturing.” I was busy!

It wasn’t until 2 years into motherhood that I figured out that I needed something more. (Please, please!, don’t wait that long! If you’re pregnant, start now!) I needed a lot more, actually! I lived in Minnesota at the time, and I kept reading about a personal renewal group with Minneapolis life coach Sarina LaMarche, who worked with The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal by Renée Peterson Trudeau.

[With daily self-care] it feels like I finally have a gateway to experiencing true compassion—something that, before, I understood in a thinking way, but had a hard time really connecting with in my bones.

Spring Renewal Self Care Retreat Vision Board 3 It sounded amazing, but I didn’t sign up. My baby and I were never on the “right” schedule to make it to one of Sarina’s groups. And then, we moved away.

I still wish I’d signed up for self-care with Sarina, back in those earliest days of motherhood.

Thankfully, the idea of a group of mamas getting together on a regular basis–that stuck with me. Another year went by, and I finally got my own copy of The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal. It looked like something I could really work with, and enjoy, so I sent some emails and made some phone calls to a few mothers I knew. I asked each of them to reach out to a mom or two they knew. And that way, we made our own personal renewal group. We weren’t formal about it, other than that on the fourth Tuesday of every month, we knew there’d be a circle of support waiting on the details of our lives, from the sacred to the mundane.

Simple self-care practices—one minute of meditation, a single deep breath…—bring me instant comfort and joy. Gratitude underpins each one of those self-compassionate awakenings.

Most importantly, there’d be wine and chocolate. And The Mother’s Guide, to give us truly helpful and easy-to-follow directions for experiencing more balance and joy in our lives. Spring Renewal Self Care Retreat Vision Board 4

For the first time in my life, I had consistent, intentional self-care that I absolutely cherished. And it was so, so much better than feeling like I had to be at the gym at a certain time, or that I’d need to come up with extra money and time to head to the spa (not that I don’t love spa day!). That group, those women: So often they were my tether to sanity in the mad mad world of motherhood, and every time we gathered, I smiled, I laughed, I felt lighter.

After a year of once-a-month intentional self-care, I upgraded my effort and added a once-a-week women’s circle. That was powerful in ways I can hardly explain, other than to tell you to get yourself a copy of Birthing Ourselves into Being and invite a few friends to read and experience it with you. After a year of that kind of self-care work, I’m starting to get the hang of the hows, whys, and what-fors of self-care as part of my everyday life.

This year’s grand experiment is inviting self-care to become a daily practice, even a moment-to-moment breath-to-breath practice. It feels like I finally have a gateway to experiencing true compassion—something that, before, I understood in a thinking way, but had a hard time really connecting with in my bones.

Spring Renewal Self Care Retreat Vision Board 5 Simple self-care practices—one minute of meditation, a single deep breath, reading a book for the pure pleasure of a story, savoring fine chocolate, embracing my husband, the crown-of-their-heads scent of my children, letting the soft animal of my body love what it loves—bring me instant comfort and joy. Gratitude underpins each one of those self-compassionate awakenings.

I’d love to see and hear how you connect with the simple ways you fill your life with comfort and joy, too.

Meet up with me in Athens GA the weekend of May 5! In the morning, we can chat about moment-to-moment self-care at the La Leche League Breastfeeding & Parenting Conference. At 10:30 that morning, we’ll cover at least 35 ways you can be deeply, lovingly kind to yourself.

Spring Renewal Self Care Retreat Vision Board 6 And in the afternoon, 2pm – 5:30pm, there are a few seats left in the Spring Renewal Self-Care circle I’m facilitating at womanspace. We’ll practice yoga to better connect brain to heart to whole body, jot a few personal notes about how self-care shows up—or doesn’t—in our lives, and craft some truly beautiful vision boards, like the ones you see here that were done by women at our last self-care retreat.

I love vision boards, and this bunch struck me as particularly beautiful. And for me, that’s been the reward of this winding path into the embrace of self-compassion:

Heartfelt loveliness blooms from a fine focus on self-care.

Spring Renewal Self Care Retreat Vision Board 7

Posted by Jenni on March 2, 2012 in Birth, Before and After, Bodymind Bliss, Pregnancy, Yoga

5 Tips for a Great Prenatal Yoga Class

I’ve lost a lot of sleep during my past five years of parenting, but I still remember how I felt walking in to attend my first prenatal yoga classes. It was a total new-kid experience, with me wondering nervously who were all these chatty mamas, and why was everyone so darn happy?! Clearly, they’d all been best friends forever and were planning for their yet-to-be-born-kiddos to be BFFs too!

It didn’t matter that I was a yoga teacher, or that I knew the teacher leading the class. I still felt a little alone, a little unsure—an experience that’s true for so many aspects of a first pregnancy! Now, when I walk in to teach a class, I’m filled with joy when I hear that pre-class buzz of mamas sharing inspirations and commiserating over pregnancy weirdness. Boost your confidence for class with these five tips for creating your own great prenatal yoga experience:

1. Give a mama a welcoming smile and a kind word.
Welcome another woman to class, and you’ll feel more welcome, too. It doesn’t matter how long either of you have been attending this class or any other. Each practice is a chance to deepen your sense of connection with other mothers. If you’re struggling with feelings of inadequacy or loneliness, know that those can crop up for any mama, any time. The antidote? Your smile—along with a genuine comment about her cute yoga top or a heartfelt request for a bit of pregnancy advice—can set the mood for a great class for you and your sister-yogini.

2. Give yourself props.
Yoga props and lots of them can make a world of difference in your comfort. Ordinarily, I’m no fan of yoga props. But when it came to practicing child’s pose as a pregnant lady, I piled up the pillows, blankets, and an extra mat to make the pose delicious. Later in my pregnancy, I loved using a block to make forward folds feel more melty. And a blanket for savasana was a must. For your comfort and ease during class, gather your props before practice begins. If your studio is light on props, bring your own gear from home.

3. Share and share alike.
If your class begins with introductions, participate with a full heart. Discovering that you share a care provider or a guess date with another mother in class can give a little emotional boost or soothe a fear. If your class begins with a short discussion or Q&A, remember that your comment may be exactly what the mama-to-be next to you needs to hear. Likewise, be mindful of the time you spend speaking so women who need to give voice to something have their opportunity, too. Finally, if you’re feeling quiet and introspective, honor that with a deep breath, a soft smile, and the simply stated truth, “I’m just here to take it all in today.”

4. Be open to the dance.
Prenatal yoga practice offers so many useful lessons to help you prepare for birth. Physically, there’s a lot of emphasis on opening the hips, and one great way to do that is to dance, sway, and circle your blossoming midsection. So don’t be alarmed if your teacher asks you to let go of some traditional asana practice in favor of some free-flowing dance movements. Dancing in public isn’t your thing? Not to worry. Odds are, a good number of mamas in the room are feeling awkward about it too. Plant your feet, close your eyes, soften your knees, and let your hips swing wide as your arms float free. You’ll feel less conspicuous with your eyes closed and you’ll project a lot of confidence—which just may inspire another mama to get her yoga dance groove on!

5. Let the asana go.
Prenatal yoga practice happens on many levels in any given class: the breath, connecting with other pregnant women, tuning in to your baby, emotionally preparing for your transition through birth into motherhood, acknowledging pregnancy as a special occasion in your life, and of course the asana. It’s perfectly fine for the poses to be the least of your concerns! If you sweat, you sweat. If you shake, you shake. If your pose has a look all its own, you’re a trendsetter. Stay tuned in to your body, taking care to stay safely out of pain and resisting the urge to be the “A” student if that’s usually your type. Let the class unfold in your body and in your heart, moment to moment, breath to breath. Call in a playful sense of curiosity and let a quiet confidence lead you to inner strength, deep peace, and a soulful connection to the child you carry within.

{breathe, mama!}

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Do you have a regular prenatal yoga practice? What do you do that makes each class more enjoyable? Share in the comments, wise mamas!

Posted by Jenni on February 1, 2012 in Birth, Before and After, Breastfeeding, Yoga