Belly Button Bliss: A Small Collection of Happy Birth Stories is a pretty baby shower gift. It’s the perfect antidote to the scary stories birth mothers too often hear about labor and childbirth. Filled with inspirational birth stories, the Belly Button Bliss essay collection celebrates the wisdom of women’s bodies and the transformative effect of childbirth. Each story shows that when a mama-to-be has ample support, lots of encouragement, and a positive frame of mind, her birth story is more likely to be a happy one.

Buy the Book!

Silent, Loving Support
By Todd Elihu

With Baraka’s due date a couple of days behind us, we decided to block off the weekend to be together and “put on the catcher’s mitt,” as our friend Tim said jokingly. It would just be the two of us awaiting our unborn daughter and holding a sacred space in case she decided to make her entry into this world sometime over the weekend. Our friend Carl dropped off the Lord of the Rings trilogy and we had a little movie marathon as Baraka experienced the toning surges of what we thought may have been early labor. Rainy weather washed the Earth. On Sunday night, after Frodo and Gandalf sailed off to the far distant shore with the elves, we fell asleep to the soothing affirmations of our Hypnobirthing CD.

The weekend had passed without birth, so Monday morning I headed out to work with the assurance that Baraka would call me if anything progressed. Before leaving, I took a water sample to take to the pool and spa store to make sure the chemical balance of the hot tub was alright. I left work around 2:30 and headed out to the pool store. They told me I needed to add a little bit of this and a little bit of that to get the water quality up to snuff.

During the last several months of the pregnancy, she made use of the tub often as it really helped relieve the pressure of gravity upon her body. The tub was also one of our primary birthing locations as part of our birthing game plan.

When I got back home, the surges had definitely picked up for Baraka. She said that she had thought about calling me a couple of times during the day, but she decided to ride it out and see. She was glad that I was home, though. I was, too.

I started amending the water chemistry of our tub according to what the people at the pool store had recommended. This took about 2 hours as I had to let some of the chemicals dissolve and integrate for 15 minutes before adding the next chemical. Baraka was anxious to get in the tub. I had installed this hot tub on our back deck back in January in lieu of remodeling the bathroom in order to accommodate a tub/shower unit. In case you don’t know, Baraka has a close affinity for water. Bless her sweet heart, she endured living in this house for 3 years without a proper full body soak. During the last several months of the pregnancy, she made use of the tub often as it really helped relieve the pressure of gravity upon her body. The tub was also one of our primary birthing locations as part of our birthing game plan.

As soon as the tub was ready to go, Baraka was in it. I stroked her head and arms as we listened to Sade in the waning sunlight of the early evening.

About the same time, Whapio, our wise woman mentor pulled in the driveway. She had been planning on coming down today anyway. She had just finished teaching a midwifery intensive course in Asheville the day before. I greeted her and apprised her of the situation. She sat in the front yard by the hemlock tree with her notebook in which she jotted some things down. She said if we needed anything she would be there. She would also let us know if she had an intuitive nudge about anything that needed our attention.

I soon felt like I needed to be by Baraka’s side.
I sat by the edge of the tub and caressed her.

I checked in on Baraka who was floating around naked in the tub, moaning with each movement of the uterus and moving more and more into an altered state. She said it was alright for Whapio to come back to the porch if she wanted to.

Whapio came around and kissed Baraka on the head and held her hands. She then sat at the table and continued writing in her little book. I went into the backyard to do a bit of Taiji.

I soon felt like I needed to be by Baraka’s side. I sat by the edge of the tub and caressed her. I put a bathing suit on and got into the tub with her. As soon as I got in she wanted to get out so that she could use the bathroom.

She felt compelled to stay in the bathroom and labor while sitting on the toilet for a while. We turned off all the lights and lit candles. We brought the pallet we had prepared (a thin mattress with a plastic sheet underneath a flannel sheet) from the living room. I sat on the bathroom floor and began to go into the altered state along with her. I offered my silent, loving support as Baraka wailed and moved around. She naturally fell into an intoxicated reverie of belly dance, gyrating her hips and waist, her beautiful belly swollen with life. Whapio was chanting in the darkened interior of the house. Things were changing.

We interlocked arms and she tugged on mine as a surge came on. In the intervals in between we would kiss, exchange loving words, or just remain silent.

After one of the surges, which were coming every minute or so, we made it back out to the hot tub. Baraka needed to be in the water again. We were surrounded by pitch blackness save the starlight as the moon was hidden behind the eastern trees. It was quite cool now and after I put on a sweatshirt and some jeans, I sat on the edge of the tub melding with her. At first she was self-conscious of her wailing during the surges, wondering if the neighbors could hear, but as time went by her self-consciousness was superseded by the journey inward.

We interlocked arms and she tugged on mine as a surge came on. In the intervals in between we would kiss, exchange loving words, or just remain silent. Whapio would pop in and out bringing water and checking to see if everything was cool. At some point Baraka felt her waters break. My sense of time had long since disappeared into the darkness. It was easy to remain totally present and to focus on our love; the moment demanded it.

I noticed that the cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck so [our midwife] held the baby as I unwrapped it. It was wrapped around twice.

And then, with a triumphant declaration, “Alright, we can do this, Akasha!” Baraka stood up for the next few contractions. She then told me the head was about to emerge and to turn on the light in the tub. Soon after I turned the light on, Baraka had another intense surge and there was suddenly a red orb in between her legs. “Oh my God, it’s her head!” Whapio drew in closer. “One more push and she’ll be out,” Baraka said. She was not actively pushing, only riding the natural reflexes of her body. As the next surge came on, Akasha dove into the water of the tub with a rush of blood. Baraka grabbed her and gently brought her up to her chest. I noticed that the cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck so Whapio held the baby as I unwrapped it. It was wrapped around twice.

The baby had a bit of trouble breathing at first. There was mucus in her lungs that she was trying to expel. We blew on her to try to show her how to breathe. Whapio wanted to move us into the living room because it was chilly outside. Baraka held the baby as Whapio and I helped Baraka out of the tub.

Whapio had moved the birthing pallet from the bathroom into the living room again. We sat Baraka down and swaddled the baby, who was still struggling to expel the mucus. Whapio said this mucus was natural, it kept the sacs of the lungs from sticking together. She gave the baby a homeopathic remedy, Antimonium Tartaricum, to help the baby get rid of the mucus. It did seem to help.

The placenta was birthed soon after. We weighed the new babe and she was 8.5 lbs.

Baraka had a little tear on her bottom and we’ve been healing it naturally with comfrey sitzbaths, comfrey tincture, and homeopathics.

We are a happy family and very blessed to have such an alert and healthy daughter. Give thanks!

The First Letter I Wrote to My Daughter
By Baraka Elihu

I write letters to my daughter. A collection of yet un-opened heartsongs about the struggles and the honors of being a mother. I write letters to my daughter. So she’ll know some pieces of herself as a young woman, and so I pass on the stories of my own Mother, whom I long for and ache to call on sometimes during this wild, stunning journey of mothering. One day, as Akasha prepares to fly the nest, I’ll offer her this collection. This was the first letter I wrote to my daughter, days after her beautiful birth, in the early dawn hours of our family, 5 years ago. Birthing Akasha was the very best experience of my life. I didn’t realize something at the time, though… I did not imagine my heart could ever expand any further beyond the pinnacle of love I experienced at our birth. Akasha teaches me every day that my heart’s terrain is far wider than I can imagine. Akasha is patiently teaching me the limitless, boundless nature of love.

Akasha,
The weekend before you were born the rains came. The majestic storms beckoned your father and I indoors where we spent the weekend loving each other and creating a family space, quiet and holy. We sanctioned off some time from the distractions of the outside world. We watched movies and ate, laughed and talked, walked around our neighborhood and mused on our lives, and I flowed with the subtle rhythms of practice labor. The rains cooled the Earth by 10 or more degrees. I watched the signs of this beloved Earth and took her messages as affirming omens. I savored these last days of pregnancy, for holding you inside me was truly a joy beyond measure.

Our Seasons
My pregnancy with you was unhindered and unmanaged. It opened a space within me to tune into our process and to cultivate faith. I traveled much of my first trimester: first out west for yoga training and then slowly up the east coast. Spending a month alone, I explored my inner terrain. I retreated at an ashram and took a writer’s workshop at Omega Institute. I took my time driving through this country, talking aloud to you in the car, dreaming about you. It was important for us to be alone together at the beginning. I focused my graduate work on the archetypes of Birth.

I ritualized the journey into motherhood side by side my beloved husband, sisters, and friends.

My second trimester, I belly danced and created artwork for you with your father. I sat in circles of women and laughed and cried. I decided firmly I would not include medical care in my pregnancy. My heart echoed with your spirit’s soaring, “Birth is a Rite of Passage, Mama, not a medical event!” I had never doubted my ability to give birth, but I did struggle with expressing this truth to others, especially those people who carried a lot of fear around women’s bodies and birthing. I transformed this struggle into a mature self confidence, one I would need to be a conscious parent for you in this culture.

My third trimester, I spiraled ever more inward and enjoyed nesting with full abandon. My home had never shined quite so brightly, full of charged energy, full of magic. I ritualized myself, body and soul, and I ritualized the journey into motherhood side by side my beloved husband, sisters, and friends. I wrote parts of my thesis curriculum, which I titled Birthing Ourselves into Being. We planted a spiral garden. I watched Nature with new eyes—the slow evolution of Spring, the abundance of the Earth ripening in harmony with the flowering of my body.

The Earth Bathed Herself
When the rains came that weekend before you came to us, I knew something was changing—all the Earth bathed Herself in preparation for you. The freshly chilled air brought relief to me as it assured I would be able to comfortably birth outdoors in the spa altar your father so lovingly built for our labor.

When Monday came, I felt completely at peace and ready for your entrance. The colors of the day sparkled, aflame with the light of the inner worlds pouring out onto the Earth. Green became clear Emerald. Blue blazed suddenly a Sapphire streaking across the landscape.

I knew you would come to us this day, but I held the knowledge within myself like a secret treasure, savoring our last moments together.

Your Godmother Whapio was coming to stay with us for a few weeks and would arrive later that day. She was a true mentor for your father and I during this pregnancy and assisted us in learning how to care for ourselves during the entire transformation. A witness, a friend, another dreamer on the journey, she was coming to help us hold a space for the birth and to be there should we need anything—a Midwife in the most ancient sense.

The day went by sweetly; I was alone as your father went into work. I tidied up the house and arranged my birth altar with the little gifts that all your aunties had offered in your honor: yoni shells and goddess statues, salt and herbs and candles and sage. I knew you would come to us this day, but I held the knowledge within myself like a secret treasure, savoring our last moments together. I consciously did not call for help. It felt completely natural and ease-full to be with you, crossing over onto this plane.

Throughout the day, I passed blood and mucous from my body and the gentle surges that massaged me all weekend became more noticeable. I danced about my day as usual. I was in no rush. Each moment of interesting sensation lured me ever deeper into the vast ocean of myself. Your father arrived home around 3:30pm and the energy heightened in my body. He fed me and harried about making sure the water in the spa was just right.

When Whapio arrived around 5:30pm, I was certain that this was labor. We laughed at how intelligent your timing was! (From here on out, time had no meaning, but later on we determined active labor lasted approximately 4 to 5 hours.) I spent some time alone in the bathroom letting loose, feeling my body dilate with the surges, touching myself and breathing and relaxing. When I did finally slip into the spa, luxurious warmth encapsulated me. I listened to my Hypnobirthing CD, and opened up progressively as the cool winds danced through the trees and the sunset melted into the Earth. Whapio kept her distance and tended the periphery, writing poetry for you. Your father did Yilu in the backyard and kept his energy telepathically close on me in case I needed him. In the water I gracefully flowed with the surges of labor, visioning you circling around us and visioning my cervix opening like a lotus flower. We were humming in the most exquisite altered state I had ever experienced.

A Child Will Soon Be Born
Time passed like this, your father coming in closer and closer until he was there with me in the water. I found myself shrouded in darkness. Nighttime had arrived. The energy moving through my body was becoming very strong and your father helped me to move back into the bathroom so I could empty myself. It was at this point that I felt truly tested. The energy was becoming so powerful I could no longer contain it- I bellowed out and rocked and spiraled my hips. I could hear Whapio in the distance chanting, We are feeling very open, a child will soon be born… I found my voice and allowed the energy to pour out into deep vocal tones. I believe this is what people call transition.

There was no chatter, no distraction. I wept and my heart exploded in gratitude.

Your father helped me find my place back into the water. The energy was shifting from allowing my cervix to dilate to simply riding the waves of birth. The ultimate test of waiting for dilation was over and was replaced by an overwhelming connection to the source of life. It felt like a glorious annihilation as the surges passed through me. I did not consciously push. My body did everything on its own, and I reveled in the experience- it was like being pummeled with heaven.

Your father sat right at water’s edge, and it was as if we shared a brain. There was no chatter, no distraction. I wept and my heart exploded in gratitude. I cried out to your father, Thank you for your Seed!

I cried out to you, Akasha, as your spiraling came ever closer to us, I am so excited to meet you! I could see the tree branches far overhead shake electrically in the windy night. Akasha! Akashaaaa! I Love You! The sound of the leaves shaking echoed down my spinal column. Throughout labor I felt intrinsically connected with you, as if you were guiding me through the process. But this connection felt like some kind of ethereal communication.

Then, there at the end of the labor, and as I began to feel you passing through the birth canal, the ethereal was replaced by the physical promise of you. It was amazing to feel your descent into the water. Your spiraling descent downward from the skies, closing in, closing in, tunneling like a tornado through my body and into the water. Your father watched you emerge and Whapio came in closer.

Your placenta emerged radiant and glistening, the Tree of Life leading the way. We left you attached to the placenta for the first couple of hours, and then your father tied and cut the cord.

You were born at 11:39pm. I caught you with my hands, completely in awe of your slippery body. Stunned by our new reality. Your umbilical chord (which we later deciphered was 2 feet long—the longest Whapio had ever seen) was loosely wrapped around your neck twice. We tended to this and I was helped out of the water and into a warm pallet in the living room. I was not quite ready for the distractions of the outside world. I wanted to hold you in silence for longer. But the excitement swept us up. You took a little while to land, your soft breaths sounded a little mucousy to us, so we warmed you and talked to you and you found your rhythm. I was not for a moment concerned. I felt you still connected to my body through our shared umbilicus. Your placenta emerged radiant and glistening, the Tree of Life leading the way. We left you attached to the placenta for the first couple of hours, and then your father tied and cut the cord. We were both tended to during this time, until you were crying and feeding lustily, and I was cleaned up and my yoni checked.

Your father and I, in the bustle of this immediate postpartum, chanted Hu together and I acknowledged the Vairagi Masters as they circled around us just across the veils. Everything passed in a blur. We were finally tucked into bed for the night. I did not sleep that first night with you, but I went in and out of Soul Travel, flying over mountaintops and forests when I closed my eyes to rest.

Compassion for Mothers Everywhere
My postpartum recovery was more challenging than I had imagined. I sustained a tear and some injury to my yoni, despite birthing upright in water at my own pace. This challenge brought with it a lesson in receiving help from others for healing and a deepened compassion for mothers everywhere. It also taught me to balance the pelvic floor strengthening I practice and teach in Chakra Belly Dance with plenty of rest and softening. My sense is that my pelvic floor was so strong, it needed to be literally blown through. I experienced this sensation as extremely powerful, however, not dangerous or painful.

Today it is a week out from your birth, and I am amazed at the power of the body to heal itself. The tissues of my yoni have gathered themselves back together and are like new—changed forever but strong and perfect. Whapio has gathered strong medicine to care for me: comfrey and homeopathics, ledum and sepia.

We are madly in love with you, daughter—we sit and stare at you in amazement.

Your father prepared your placenta according to traditional Chinese medicine and has been nursing me back to vibrancy. We both ate the rich meat the day after your coming, and it affected us like a very smooth hallucinogenic. We laughed together in the kitchen amongst the heavy aroma of the steamed organ. I will never forget that feeling and that primordial smell. I have been taking tablets of the TCM placenta since, and it has nurtured me wonderfully.

I am almost fully recovered now and you, my beloved daughter, are an amazing being to be with. Your father and I have spent these past days with you enjoying every moment. You are nursing so well. You love your Baba and your late night walks with him. You are very peaceful and seem very aware of your surroundings. We are madly in love with you, daughter—we sit and stare at you in amazement. We have vowed to serve you well in your mission on this planet. We are here to support you in whatever way you desire. It is a joy to introduce to you to your community and to your world as everything is poised to receive you.

your Mama, baraka.

“Self-care is the development of your highest self.” ~ Rachel Harris, PhD, author of 20-Minute Retreats: Revive Yourself in Just Minutes a Day with Simple, Self-Led Practices

5 more ways to elevate your self-care…

31. Witness your beauty
32. Do the dishes
33. Don’t do the dishes
34. Act as if you’re Mother of the Year
35. Write a love letter

31. Witness your beauty – Grab a sticky note and write, in bold letters, “You’re beautiful. Yes—you!” Post it on your bathroom mirror so you’re reminded every day that you are a true beauty.

32. Do the dishes – Wash, rinse, dry, put away. Do the dishes as an act of service for your family. Do the dishes with your full attention as an act of meditation for yourself. Do the dishes as an act of gratitude for the food that filled your table and nourished your body.

33. Don’t do the dishes – If the thought of handling the dishes overwhelms you, irritates you, or otherwise sinks your mood, let them sit. They’ll be there later when you’re feeling better, and there’s always a chance someone else will do them in your absence. (Hey, a mom’s gotta dream!)

34. Act as if you’re Mother of the Year – For a short time—a day, a morning, a minute—act as if you were Mother of the Year in your kids’ eyes. What would that look like? How would it feel?

35. Write a love letter – Write yourself a short letter—Dear me, What I really love about you is…—and mail it to yourself or tuck it into a book or journal to discover later.

35 Ways to Unwrap the Gift of Self-Care
{1 – 5}   {6 – 10}   {11 – 15}   {16 – 20}   {21 – 25}   {26 – 30}   {31 – 35}

Photo credit: Some rights reserved by Peter Hellberg

“Self-care is the development of your highest self.” ~ Rachel Harris, PhD, author of 20-Minute Retreats: Revive Yourself in Just Minutes a Day with Simple, Self-Led Practices

5 more ways to elevate your self-care…

26. Indulge decadence
27. Cease judging
28. Transform your bath
29. Exercise
30. Don’t exercise

26. Indulge decadence – Dark chocolate, fine wine, aged cheese … give in to whatever delights your sense of taste. Set some boundaries around the indulgence, and then give yourself over to it fully and mindfully. Set the scene. Notice the texture on your tongue. Savor the taste in your mouth. Turn up your attention 1,000% and take pleasure in your indulgence.

27. Cease judging – Repeat an old behavior that feels kind of crummy? Mess up (again)? Worried that you said the wrong thing? Notice what kind of internal conversation you start up with yourself in those moments. If you’re criticizing or judging yourself, gently stop. Turn down the volume on your inner tirade, and let yourself off the hook with a kinder acknowledgment: “That’s what happened.” You don’t have to spin into some kind of positive thinking that may not feel authentic for you. This is about putting a stop to the damaging self-talk. It’s a great place to begin treating yourself with more kindness—and in turn, creating a more solid foundation of compassion that you can extend to others.

28. Transform your bath – Transform your bath/shower into personal spa time. Turn down the lights. Add candlelight. Apply a facial mask. Enjoy a whole-body exfoliation with a body brush. Massage your hands and feet. Add essential oils to your bath. Use the good towels. Stay warm—inside and out!

29. Exercise – In a gym, at the park, on your own, or with a friend, get your body moving for at least 30 minutes and break a sweat! Say hello to the endorphins!

30. Don’t exercise – Feeling mellow and quiet? Skip the gym and snuggle in. Sometimes it feels more truthful and kind to acknowledge your energy and your state of mind as it is. That’s different than just skipping your workout to do something else: Give yourself the same time and attention for resting that you would have spent at the gym.

35 Ways to Unwrap the Gift of Self-Care
{1 – 5}   {6 – 10}   {11 – 15}   {16 – 20}   {21 – 25}   {26 – 30}   {31 – 35}

Photo credit: Creative Commons by mariachily 

“Self-care is the development of your highest self.” ~ Rachel Harris, PhD, author of 20-Minute Retreats: Revive Yourself in Just Minutes a Day with Simple, Self-Led Practices

5 more ways to elevate your self-care…

21. Phone a friend
22. Eat well
23. Sleep well
24. Love well
25. Make love with yourself

21. Phone a friend – The sweet sound of a friend’s voice and laughter can lift your spirits and remind you that you’re supported and loved in the universe. A caring call is especially helpful when the day begins to feel overwhelming, especially if you can find a little humor to share.

22. Eat well – Take time to prepare yourself a healthy, delicious snack … Brown rice sesame crackers with hummus. Apple wedges with almond butter. Olives and cheese. Kale chips and herbal tea.

23. Sleep well – Get a full night’s sleep for a night … then two nights … then a full week … then most every night after that!

24. Love well – Make love with your partner. Set aside the time and create a warm space filled with candlelight and soft music. Wear something pretty. Linger, enjoy, and reconnect with your partner as a focal point of your passion, rather than daily parenting partner.

25. Make love with yourself – Yes, you read that right. Orgasm can elevate your mood and ease tension in your body through the release of endorphins. Knowing what turns on your own body can also add to the pleasure of making love with your partner when you share the knowledge!

35 Ways to Unwrap the Gift of Self-Care
{1 – 5}   {6 – 10}   {11 – 15}   {16 – 20}   {21 – 25}   {26 – 30}   {31 – 35}

Photo credit: Creative Commons license Some rights reserved by aarmono

“Self-care is the development of your highest self.” ~ Rachel Harris, PhD, author of 20-Minute Retreats: Revive Yourself in Just Minutes a Day with Simple, Self-Led Practices

5 more ways to elevate your self-care…

16. Hug
17. Dance break!
18. Move with class
19. Retreat
20. Praise yourself profusely

16. Hug – Give one, get one. That’s the beauty of a hug!

17. Dance break! – Put on your favorite music and show off your moves like Jagger.

18. Move with class – Pilates, yoga, zumba, spin, and so on: Drop in on a class that gets your body moving, or head out to the local park and create your own workout, naturally. Climbing walls? Jungle gyms? Hills to scramble? Perfect!

19. Retreat – Set aside an afternoon or a weekend to experience a topic deeply. Feed your soul with a cooking workshop. Unearth your story in a writer’s workshop. Deepen your practice in a yoga workshop. Stepping away from your usual routine renews your perspective on what lights up your life and deepens your gratitude for time spent with your beloved family. Just can’t get away, or don’t want to? Check out Rachel Harris’ book 20-Minute Retreats to stay-put getaways that need just 20 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, or even 1. Yep – even a 1-minute retreat can help reset your mindset.

20. Praise yourself profusely – When you catch yourself taking even the smallest step toward a more positive mindset or a preferred behavior, let your internal conversation be uber-supportive. Lavish yourself with praise as your brain does the challenging work of rewiring itself for healthier attitudes and behaviors.

35 Ways to Unwrap the Gift of Self-Care
{1 – 5}   {6 – 10}   {11 – 15}   {16 – 20}   {21 – 25}   {26 – 30}   {31 – 35}

Photo by  sameliaz8 via Creative Commons license http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

“Self-care is the development of your highest self.” ~ Rachel Harris, PhD, author of 20-Minute Retreats: Revive Yourself in Just Minutes a Day with Simple, Self-Led Practices

5 more ways to elevate your self-care…

11. Say yes
12. Say no
13. Know your self-care contacts
14. Splurge
15. Walk

11. Say yes – Give yourself permission to give in to something that appeals to you. Yes, you can take some time for yourself. Yes, you can take a pass on girls night out, and stay in instead. Yes, you can feed your kids breakfast for dinner. Yes. Just, yes!

12. Say no – You don’t have to do one more thing! You can say no to the dishes, the laundry, the playdate, the volunteer request. Say no to whatever leaves you feeling drained.

13. Know your self-care contacts – Make a list of emergency self-care contacts: the friends & family in your life who really get you, especially when you’re not feeling your best

14. Splurge – Indulge in something for yourself. A workshop or retreat. A new shirt. A sweet or savory treat when the kids aren’t around. What will delight you?

15. Walk – Go for a walk, even if it’s just to the curb and back. Stand up, put on comfy shoes, and get your body moving in the outdoor air.

35 Ways to Unwrap the Gift of Self-Care
{1 – 5}   {6 – 10}   {11 – 15}   {16 – 20}   {21 – 25}   {26 – 30}   {31 – 35}

Photo by © Ciprian Florin Dumitrescu | Dreamstime.com

“Self-care is the development of your highest self.” ~ Rachel Harris, PhD, author of 20-Minute Retreats: Revive Yourself in Just Minutes a Day with Simple, Self-Led Practices

5 more ways to elevate your self-care…

6. Take yourself on a date ~ solo!
7. Date your partner
8. Upgrade your media
9. Read for pleasure
10. Take a beauty break

6. Take yourself on a date ~ solo! – Pick a favorite coffee shop or restaurant, or head to the nearest park or trails. This isn’t about running errands on your own, but taking a short time to sit quietly, breathe your breath, and be in your body. Observe the world. Take in the beauty. Let gratitude for the goodness in your own life—the gift of your children and family—resurface from beneath the often choppy waters of parenthood.

7. Date your partner – Dress yourself to feel fabulous or fabulously comfortable. Choose a place that lets you laugh, talk, connect. Getting out in the world together without your children can feel exhilarating. Or, dedicate a night at home—once the kids are well asleep—to a late dinner, candlelight, favorite music, and really seeing one another as you talk.

8. Upgrade your media – The book or magazine that makes you most doubt yourself as a woman and a mother? Throw it out now!

9. Read for pleasure – Read a book for the love of a story. Romance? Chick lit? Young adult? Yes, yes, and yes! Whatever delights you and is easy to read. If you have a smart phone, the Kindle app makes it super-easy to pick up where you left off, and you’re likely to have your book with you anytime you end up with a few extra minutes.

10. Take a beauty break – Place your hand on your heart. Close your eyes. Enjoy 3 breaths. Open your eyes and with a soft gaze, see the beauty around you. Repeat!

35 Ways to Unwrap the Gift of Self-Care
{1 – 5}   {6 – 10}   {11 – 15}   {16 – 20}   {21 – 25}   {26 – 30}   {31 – 35}

Photo by Angelo Gonzalez  via Creative Commons http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

“Self-care is the development of your highest self.” ~ Rachel Harris, PhD, author of 20-Minute Retreats: Revive Yourself in Just Minutes a Day with Simple, Self-Led Practices

5 ways to elevate your self-care…

1. Breathe. Again!
2. Sigh
3. Daily all-done list
4. Spend time with a friend who makes you feel great about
5. Stay home alone ~ enjoy your space

1. Breathe. Again! – This is a go-to moment-by-moment act of self-care. When things are just wild and you feel the spin of chaos swirling about you, search out your center. Plant your feet. Fill up slowly, luxuriously with breath. And then let the breath ease its way out with your exhale. Enjoy the mini-release, the wash of tingling energy in your body, the slide of shoulders away from ears, as your whole body leans into Mother Earth. Then, repeat.

2. Sigh – A breath is lovely, and sometimes the truly attention-getting release of a sigh is sweeter still. Breathe in, fill up, and then open your mouth wide to release your breath with a soft sigh, the breeze that sweeps away the tension you hadn’t even realized you carried. Set it down, mama. Set it down.

3. Daily all-done list – I once said to my beautiful, insightful friend and colleague Baraka that I knew basically everything I was “supposed to do” in a day, to make my life just about perfectly perfect. But I couldn’t seem to make myself do it. What was wrong with me, already?! I was endlessly listing, in my mind, all these improvements and changes to make so I could just be better. “Stop,” she said, kindly. Instead, she counseled, make a list of what you did do already. Let that be your meditation and reflection on your day. The diapers, the dinner, the dishes. The kisses, the book reading, the nose wiping. The seat-belt buckling, the potty training, the clean-up clean-up everybody everywhere. The self-care, the spouse care, the family care. What an amazing list! How incredibly productive you are!

4. Spend time with a friend who makes you feel great about yourself – Whether playdate, coffee date, or girls night out, set aside some time to connect with a woman who enjoys you for you, flaws and all. Let yourself be appreciated by her, and return the favor: See the amazing effort she brings to her life and her loves, and enjoy her just as she is, quirky and perfect all at once.

5. Stay home alone ~ enjoy your space – Schedule a playdate for the littles or make arrangements with your partner to clear the house so you are home alone. Beforehand, decide what will be the most rewarding to you: Will you lounge around? Work on a project without interruption? Sleep in absolute peace? Tidy up? Journal, dance, cook—what will absolutely delight you, heart, body, and soul? It is your time to use as you wish. Even “squandering it” with dilly dallying around has its own allure and wisdom!

35 Ways to Unwrap the Gift of Self-Care
{1 – 5}   {6 – 10}   {11 – 15}   {16 – 20}   {21 – 25}   {26 – 30}   {31 – 35}

Photo by Makz via Creative Commons http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/deed.en